from angelic appetisers to devilish desserts

from angelic appetisers to devilish desserts
from angelic appetisers to devilish desserts

welcome to me ole blogger'oo

Welcome to my blog.



Get ready to have a thought provoking 3 course meal, and im not on about sitting at a dodgey backstreet café.



Firstly just to get the old taste buds salivating i will dish up a healthy starter, "food for thought".



Secondly i shall scour through the menu to find you the best "main course" available, and we shall natter a little as you chew through the subjects raised.



Finally something a little sweeter, a final thought on any subjects raised known as "just desserts".







And if that's not enough, ill throw in the coffee for free, where we can discuss anything you wish.I will also be posting comedy based articles throughout each week which are aimed to entertain but also give a comical view of my life as a Traveller.







Hope you all enjoy the blog, be sure to subscribe and tell your friends.






Although i am a member of the Irish Travelling community, the views and opinions posted on this blog by no means represent any other individuals or groups views, thoughts or opinions.This blog is also a comedy based blog, that tackles topical issues at the time of posting, i apologise now for any mis quotes or anything that may seem like i am taking a generalised view on anything. From time to time i will review movie, songs, resteraunts, hotels, cars, books, tv shows and other events.MY reviews are solely based on my personal opinions and do not represent a professional opinion of any group, company, organisation or individual(s).



















Friday, February 11, 2011

A Few annoying things i have encountered over the week

FOR STARTERS

I dont get to annoyed lately, and usually let things slide right off my ducks back like a cascade of luke warm tap water. However, there a few things this week that really annoyed me. One was my recent visit to Dublin Airport and the other, a little visit to a well known un-advertised car breaker's, or scrap yard if you will. After a long winded rant at myself in the rear view mirror i have decided to rant a little more, this time with a more forward approach.

MAIN COURSE

Ok so i better start off in a cronological order, otherwise i might get a little lost in my own rant. Yesterday i went for a little drive to a little village type town called Headford, way out of the way in County Galway. My reason for my little wander came from the fear of my car breaking down on my trip to the "Big Shhmoke" , Dublin. I was on the hunt for a bottom pully for the crank shaft of the engine in my lovely carolla. I know right, crank shaft, sounds like a prop on a porn film set. Anyway i wasnt going to order a new one that would cost a few hundred, so taking my father's expert advice, i went travelling, alone, into "the shhticks". Now this place was so well hidden that you would imagine a hills have eyes scenario or something of that nature. Arriving at headford central, i was greeted by the lovely local folk, staring and gawping at my Dublin reg white carolla.

Not being able to find the well hidden and surely up-to-date-with-the-revenue company known as 24/7 car breakers/scrap yard or something like that, cannot actually remember the wording as like with most of their trade, it was word of mouth. Moving on, i eventually reached the well hidden secret oasis of potentially usefull parts. Now, i need some advice on the next bit. I drove down the long, thin "wrong turn"-esque road and reached a house on my left, and beside it was a porto-cabin type building along with numerous broken down cars. The cars that lay around the property did stretch a fair bit down past the house entrance, but as most businesses have the office located at the fore of their premises, i thought i would look for the owner there. I didnt immediately see any such owner, however i did see a well fed dog with an "ill fucking ate ya" look in his lying cute brown eyes. well as i wouldnt be the most agile, and most definately not the best at running, let alone outrunning a dog with an obvious mental illness, i decided to bravely honk my horn, or beep the horn, whichever sounds less sexual. The dog just stood as if smirking knowingly, all the while watching for an open oppurtunity to press his nicely sharpened teeth against a fatty part of my body.
 After about 5 quick beeps, out comes a woman looking like i was about the ask for the dogs hand in marriage or something, i mean the glare i got from her was one that simply said, "WHAT'YA WANT, WITH YOUR BIG CHEAP CAR PART SEEKING HEAD ON YA" , well thats what i thought at the time.I asked her kindly to point me to the owner as i wanted to buy a part for my lovely carolla. She still had that glint in her eye, but now she also had that same smirk the dog tried throwing my direction a few minutes earlier. She pointed in a direction away from the house, and she said, "down there".
 Being the intellect that i am, i worked out she was pointing to the owner. So i reversed my lovely carolla and high tailed it away from that woman, with her smirking ways. I still couldnt manage to locate the owner, so i drove as far as the dirt track called a road would let me. As my luck(or lack there'of) would have it, i managed to reach the end without seeing this hide and seek professional. Turning around to double back in an attempt to search for mr hide and go seek, i was greeted by a young man who had a face like i stole his milk money or something, i mean he was looking at me in a mean way, not a mean way like "look at me im well hard and doing daddy's work minding the yard", i mean he looked at me like i was tresspassing. Knowing full well what happens to Traveller lads that tresspass, i decided to debunk any thoughts he might have that i am up to know good, i looked him in the eye and said in a strong voice " eh, are you the scrap yard people". what abn idiotic question i posed, and what a sarcastic answer i got, when he just did an overtly obvious glance at the broken down cars.
 He just looked blankly at me and said, "here, ya need ta go up der to da right and up to da shed". I did as i was told like the good little wimp that i was. Arriving at the shed, i was greeted by the owner, sporting the rare type ginger hair that was all the rage when braveheart mania was rife. I got out of the car and to my own mis-fortune i was greeted with, " dya think this is a race car track or something, the way you were speeding up there, and then beeping the horn outside the house, ya need a bit of manner's so ya do", i explained quickl;y this was my first time out this neck of the woods and i wasnt to know as there was no sign saying where to go. He gave the usual backward answer i often got from my own father "ya will know for again". Mumbling bravely under my rapid breathing "there wont be a next time ya ignorant yoke ya". After that minor altercation i waited as the ginger son took my car part from a rusting engine in front of me. I paid €30 for the pully part, and to be honest i think i would rather pay top dollar in future instead of dealing with the crap dished out to me. And for the record, i didnt speed, it is hard to drive fast when the road looks like a potatoe field. My advice to you all, stay well clear of companies who do not care for customer relations. obviously i cannot tell you to stay away from this company, but i can say i will never return.


Now for my Dublin rant, well there aint none, it was just a horrible and expensive drive. I will say this though, the standard of the new filling/service station on the motorway from Galway to Dublin is quite high, and a lovely spacious venue it is.I would recommend anyone who like me, is on a shoe string budget with college or other, to buy your food there, rather than over spending at the eating places found at dublin airport. I couldnt believe my eyes when i saw that one such place was charging more than €11 for a breakfast. The toilets at Dublin airport are supperb, in that they are actually clean, which is no small feat when you think of the large volumes of people going through it.

JUST DESSERTS

I have decided to offer my assistance to the car parts company, i want to maybe train them in people skills. I also want to get to know that dogs secret, i mean he was able to totally stare me out of it, and i left thining, he was what you call, a top dog. Although another part of me was thinking, a mangey mutt, acting all big when your at home, ill see ya around.

Disclaimer, no animals feelings were hurt in the writing of this material, as dogs cannot read. Also no members of the ginger community were harmed during or after the incident reported, martin beanz warde believes gingers are people too. 

3 comments:

  1. Enjoyed reading this probably more than you enjoyed experiencing it!!! Not sure about the bit that no animals feelings were hurt - didn't you admit that your didn't give the poor little creature a chance to prove his guard-dog status by taking a chunk out of you - bet he is still sulking! Incidentally I have just realised you are a 'Warde' - Now, you know what Travellers are like. I was once in hospital with a lady of our community called Warde - (this was in the 70s)and my father (God rest his soul) didn't want me to talk to her because 'the Wardes stole a horse from us in 1927' - I mean, can our families bear a grudge or what? Anyway if it was one of your ancestors I personally forgive you - but I'm not sure about the rest of my lot!! And of course, the story may be just one version of what happened - isn't that usually the case???

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  2. oh it wasn't the most enjoyable experience i must say, but a true story non-the-less. i would imagine that you would see plenty of wards in a hospitl, as well as the people whom bare the name lol. stealing horses is a dirty business lol, but i doubt one of my clan would have lol.thanks you for forgiving me however,wouldnt want a horse to come between us lol. that reminds me, i have an article about a horse. going to post it up today i think. thanks. Beanz

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  3. You are too funny! The 'wards' joke was wonderful and I really did lol!! If you want to hear a cautionary tale about how this wonderful old lady and her daughter totally managed to confuse the hell out of each other, let me know….I was in the bed opposite - post-surgery with too many stitches to mention in polite company - and I almost bust the lot of them by the time they had finished - and it was all to do with the radar…...

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