from angelic appetisers to devilish desserts

from angelic appetisers to devilish desserts
from angelic appetisers to devilish desserts

welcome to me ole blogger'oo

Welcome to my blog.

Get ready to have a thought provoking 3 course meal, and im not on about sitting at a dodgey backstreet café.

Firstly just to get the old taste buds salivating i will dish up a healthy starter, "food for thought".

Secondly i shall scour through the menu to find you the best "main course" available, and we shall natter a little as you chew through the subjects raised.

Finally something a little sweeter, a final thought on any subjects raised known as "just desserts".

And if that's not enough, ill throw in the coffee for free, where we can discuss anything you wish.I will also be posting comedy based articles throughout each week which are aimed to entertain but also give a comical view of my life as a Traveller.

Hope you all enjoy the blog, be sure to subscribe and tell your friends.

Although i am a member of the Irish Travelling community, the views and opinions posted on this blog by no means represent any other individuals or groups views, thoughts or opinions.This blog is also a comedy based blog, that tackles topical issues at the time of posting, i apologise now for any mis quotes or anything that may seem like i am taking a generalised view on anything. From time to time i will review movie, songs, resteraunts, hotels, cars, books, tv shows and other events.MY reviews are solely based on my personal opinions and do not represent a professional opinion of any group, company, organisation or individual(s).

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Pavee Wedding

Sept 06

“Voice of the traveller”

Pavee weddings

“ya humpy hound ya where’s me belt?”that’s what woke me.”what’ya talking about ya innocent fool ya?” “my belt,where is it?”

Oh yes,today was my cousin kathleens wedding,but I neglected the fact I hed to get up cos I was actin the fool last night.having a deep and meaningfull conversation with a pillar in the garden ,as ya do when ya have a bellyfull of drink taken.

The belt on the other hand may have at one stage held my pants above me arse,but seemed to have vanished after the pillar insulted me and I decided to take a jog across a bog naked.I didn’t want to destroy the pants.
“Get up ya lazy dog”my mother mumbled into me, while holding three hairpins in her gob between her lips.ya’d swear she was the one getting married.
“leave me alone Garfield”I shouted back to her with her huge amount of fake tan she looked like something that was pulled out of an orange basket in a fruit shop.
Then the brother comes out in his monkey suit smelling of cheap aftershave, hugo boss h20 or watered down in other words, he got it from a cousin in the market.the fool paid for it too.
And like with every wedding my mother says those famous words that are expected to be said out of respect, “I hope everything goes quite”.now this is only said at traveller weddings and it basically means that she hopes uncle Charlie doesn’t pull uncle john across the dinner table over a childhood dispute.

Throughout the years travellers have enjoyed the mild comfort of having a local pavee matchmaker at their service for a mild fee of a day out. the matchmaker would basically negotiate between families. this was successful up until the poor fart was outdone by a new foe, its codename nokia 3200 picture phone .it can be an avenue to a library of potential brides and grooms. this to me makes more sense, because not only do you get to know your potential marital partner, you actually know what they look like before you marry them.

At this stage my mother has finished plastering on her war paint and her wagon shaped earings and is getting paranoid. I know this without asking as she has started backbiting potential guests.she says she has no problem skull dragging her sister tina if she copied her dress detail. And in case any buffers are reading this, skull dragging can only be described as two pavee woman pulling each others hair in a fashion only seen in x rated movies.
We arrive at the chapel, screaming kids and depressed parents and outside looks like a ford reunion with the 40 something transits. “ I now pronounce you man and wife” eejits throwing their life away at 19.
“you may kiss the bride” ya but not to freely,you have to walk past her parents yet.
Now the reception.the publicans in our town have so much respect for traveller weddings they close down their pubs for a week. We reach the hotel and after dinner speaches were ok-ish. Then the music started,no one was on the floor but the couple, but when they were finished out came bridie,winnie and tina who were out to bust some moves to big toms “four roads”.

Love i suppose is like any other little thing we must overcome in life, except love knows no boundaries it doesn’t care if your pavee or other. We should look at love and take some notes for life, well without the honeymoon part .love is love,love is for me and you,love is not racist love is true.

Martin Beanz warde

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